Friday, April 26, 2013

The heavy drinkers

In the Navy, I was never much of a drinker. I didn't even have alcohol until my 21st birthday. The guys found this funny and proceeded to buy me mixed drinks all night. This was a bad idea as I had never drank and the flavored drinks went down way to easy. 7 Long Island Iced teas later, I need two guys to help me get back to the barracks. Needless to say, My roomate's girlfriend had a purse the next morning that would never be used again.

Right before my second Westpak, We were all getting our stuff ready to leave. One of our co-workers that lived off base, came and stayed the night before we were scheduled to leave. He and my roommate at the time were drinking beers as I headed out to see a movie. I came back late and our guest was asleep on the floor. My roommate was asleep in his bed, and somehow without clothes. I didn't ask.

About 2AM, I hear this pitter patter sound coming from across the room. Being half asleep, I wondered what the hell it was, but I was far too lazy to get up. Suddenly, I hear our friend that was sleeping in the floor scream "Hey dude, you're pissing on me." Sure enough I turn around and my naked drunk roommate is pissing on our guest sleeping in the floor. Lesson #1 of living with drunks: You don't sleep on the floor. I felt bad for our guest, but also bad for my roommate.

When I was about 8 years old, I had gotten out of bed and my parents had friends over. I was evidently sleep walking and made a wrong turn. I ended up pissing on the coffee table in the living room and flushing mid air in front my parents and the company. My mother loves to tell that story.

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