So tonight, I watched a documentary called Kumare. If you haven't seen it, I would suggest watching it. The main theme is not to look toward spiritual leaders to guide you. You should be able to guide yourself from within. It's basically back to basics. Which is totally where I am at right now. I believe the best that each of us can do is try to be a decent human being and don't judge others. I think this has been my main problem with religions over the years.
I remember a few years back, my father passed away. The funeral was presided over by a the preacher at my Grandmother's church. She is very religious and so is her church. Anyways, the funeral was huge. It was the largest funeral I've ever been to in my life. The reason the funeral was so large is my dad had a impact on a lot of people's lives. He didn't do so monetarily. The man never had much money. He simply helped others in need with his skills as a mechanic, and charged them nothing or next to nothing for his services. Back to the funeral, The preacher gave said his words and at the end added "We don't know where our Brother has gone." Wait, what?
So, the preacher was judging my father not by his life and his deeds, but by his attendance at church and belief in God. I was utterly shocked. I asked my grandmother and she said "We are not judged by our deeds, but our faith." I love my grandmother and think the world of her, but..... I think that's a load of malarkey. If you make it through life and were a total shit, but you had a strong faith in God you go to heaven. Really? You can see how I lost faith in churches.
So any ways. I would like to believe that if there is a God, he is a kind and merciful God. He is not a God that is so vain as to care whether or not you worship at his feet. He is a God which set you on this earth to prove your worth as a human being. He could care less about your faith. He cares about how you treat others and the impact you have on those around you. If that God doesn't exist, I'm fine without one.